Things sometimes become clearer upon reflection.

When you have time to think about things while gazing off into the distance in the train, or while waiting for something to load on your not-so-new computer, you are sometimes able to verbalise things that you've always known/have recently come to know into actual words, and thus render yourself able to share these observations and thoughts with others. (otherwise they simply remain a jumble of complex, cluttered, all-over-the-place thoughts)

 ☙ ❤ ❧

"There are times that we feel replaced and forgotten." 

But this isn't always the truth. People are sometimes so self-centred that when something doesn't revolve around them for once, they feel that they're being forgotten and neglected. If you make an effort to keep people in your heart and to remember you, you'll be so busy cherishing your dear life and loved ones that you'll soon forget about being forgotten. Makes sense? Haha.

"Every day I get closer to being further away from you."

People say time is the biggest healing factor, but sometimes, time is the factor that drives people apart in relationships - any kind of relationship. As each day passes, the gap widens, and if nothing is done, people drift apart.

"Those who are heartless once cared too much."

Because they discovered the sacrifice and the price they had to pay when they gave too much of themselves to something or someone who didn't appreciate it, they decide to protect themselves by shutting themselves off from anything that requires any emotional investment whatsoever. While I can understand where these people are coming from, I pray I'll never let my ideals and heart die just because of others' cruelty and heartlessness. I pray I will remain loving selflessly always. 

"I am so thankful for every one that I have ever loved." 

Every single one of you are a blessing to me, and I will cherish this love always.

"I want to believe that nothing that we do is for nothing."

Everything happens for a reason, and He always has a purpose for putting us in every situation. Nothing that we do is for nothing, there is always a purpose, always a reason, even if we do not realise it or know it at the moment.

"People often don't expect to fall in love with a place or a community until they've begun giving themselves to it."

How many of us truly understand our life's calling until we plunge headfirst into it? Similarly, I think most of us don't really realise how much we can come to love something until we start investing ourselves in it, and we begin to cherish it more.

I wish STARISH was a real band. 

Haha this is no intelligent realisation or observation, it's more like a fangirl outburst. I would totally buy their albums please.


And lastly, here's something I've learnt from my (and everyone's) favourite heichou.

The people who seem the most apathetic, heartless, invincible, and desensitised may very well be the ones who are hurting the most inside.

They keep up a strong front because other people's strength and confidence depend on that. When you're humanity's strongest fighter, and people's hopes are pinned on you, there's a need to maintain that aloof, "nothing-will-make-me-waver-or-bring-me-down" (not even the deaths of my squad or comrades) even if that's not what you really feel. You place others' feelings ahead of your own, and that's why you pretend you don't have feelings of your own.

Because others' feelings matter far more than your own do. 

And that I feel is true selflessness and love for humanity.

YES I DO DRAW INSPIRATION AND MOTIVATION FROM FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. 
And Rivaille has a special place in my heart after everything he has gone through.

 ☙ ❤ ❧

I'm sorry this has jumped from everything like fictional boybands to life values taught by fictional characters.

Also big thank you to all the sweet birthday wishes and gifts and hugs and ahhhh I honestly felt that my birthday felt like the most ordinary day everrrr so I wasn't expected anything to happen (damn I didn't even bring my camera out and that's sad because I didn't get to take pics with any of the lovelies).

And special thank you to the gang for the present ordered on e-bay LOL and to Yan, Alden and Daryl for the gifts. I love you all~ Feel so blessed and loved.