frankly i'm tired.

if you could only see me,
and only feel it for one day

if you could only feel me,
we wouldn't have to part this way

you try to make it better
pretending everything's ok

but if you had only seen me...

...then you wouldn't see me walk away.

Family Tree.

i think that the most important thing that i have to say after DeePee 2012 is really a big big THANK YOU.

to everyone who came down, sacrificed their time and bought tickets to watch and support us,

to loved ones who gave us moral support all the way, keeping us strong and encouraging us even when we wanted to throw in the towel and call it quits,

to my BELOVED DANCERS for putting in so much effort, time, heart and soul into making this item work,

and to the greatest God of all, for gifting me with this bunch of lovely people, and giving me this piece to teach them.

i owe it to everyone for i am nothing without them.

RARR RARR

one small mistake and everyone's all too ready to jump at your neck.

i still can't get over it, even though it's been weeks? i told myself not to be petty, but i thought we were friends.

it seems that everyone is out to piss me off these days... or maybe it's just myself being irritable? yes, that must be it. i must be getting more irritable these days. maybe the weather? maybe the stress? the work? the obligations? the people? it must be it.

these separate issues of frustration pile up and come hurtling at you all at one shot.


couldn't get my light plot,
got scolded by bitches,
insensitive remarks from ungrateful "friends",
left out of outings i helped plan,
used and stepped over after my purpose has been accomplished,
bitched at for trying to help,
hurt time and time again,
sometimes by different people,
sometimes by the same people i hold dear.

i'm not perfect, but i try to be a good friend. i try. i really do.

but if it's going to continue down like this, and you are going to continue to hurt me with your tactlessness, insensitivity and utter assholery,

i can't guarantee that i can keep with this level of patience, understanding and tolerance as i usually do. =___=

Hakuouki DEPRESSION.

when the shinsengumi started dying off, or at least when they finished changing into their sexy western outfits, i should've just stopped watching. hahaha...

what a tragic ending omg. but at least there's plenty of spin-offs and fandoms and other things to fangirl over to take my mind off the 7 tragedies or so... my favourites was the saddest... Heisuke and Okita especially omg. then come Sano's and Saitou's. wah biang i really regret my curosity hahaha.

ah well. the fandoms and spin-offs are highly entertaining~

the recurrent dreams won't stop.

i need to stop having dreams about you so frequently before i can't differentiate between what's real and what i want to be real.

came to the sudden conclusion that Tiger & Bunny reminds me of my life. AHAHA. :/

*presses face against monitor*
WHYYYY CAN'TTTT I GOOOO INNNNNN.

自然的language barrierのことがいる？

i am on a self-appointed mission, to rid myself of the incapability of expressing myself in any other language other than English.

short dialogues with friends in languages other than English, such as Mandarin or Japanese, makes me realise how limited my vocabulary in these languages really is. :/

even though i've been learning Mandarin since almost forever ago, i seem incapable of expressing even what i'm feeling in Mandarin. (though i admit i have less problems UNDERSTANDING it than i do ARTICULATING or WRITING in it)

i feel i am only able to truly express myself through English. :/

I MUST CHANGE THIS.

*adds to never-ending list to things to do when i can afford the time, effort, spirit and energy*