Wednesday, March 11, 2015

I am my own problem and I will fix me.

A conversation with a good friend of mine yesterday drove many things on my mind back home to reality.

We talked about Dance and its place in our lives right now, being working adults who've graduated from a dance club and have chosen to pursue our passions other than dance.

We spoke about many things, but I think some points stood out to me and are really valuable bits of advice (and encouragement) that'll stick with me for a long time to come...

Why do you have to be good at something for it to make you happy?

Why is it that you want to be good at something that you love? Naturally we tend to pick things that we seem to have more aptitude for to pursue and to better ourselves at...but it doesn't mean that we have to be so good at them in order to be happy. I might not be the best dancer, artist, or singer, but dancing, drawing and singing makes me happy. Why must I complicate things and let the pressures of the world get to me? I enjoy competition, but if competition is pushing me to the extent that what used to make me happy now only makes me stressed, that's something to really reflect on.

Once in awhile I need to stop, look back, and think about why I pursue the things I pursue.

Sometimes we're so caught up in the chase that we pursue without meaning. What do you take classes for? What do you sign up for performances for? What do you come back for? What are you drawing for? What are you doing all this for? Take time, sit back, stop, listen, think, pray, reflect. Take time.

We need to make the best use of our time while we are still young.

There is no point in spending time doing things that make you unhappy. There is no point in spending time with people who make you unhappy, who make you feel horrible about yourself. Unless, that is, they are your family, in which case, you will simply have to suck it up and live with it. You can't change your family, after all, so deal with it. Now is the time to do the things you've always wanted to. When I had dance 10 times a week, I had to let my art go quite a bit. I had to let some friends go, I had to let many things go. But now, I've kinda gotten part of my life back, because I can no longer dance 10 times a week. And that's a good thing. I need to treasure it and make better use of it.

What other people enjoy doesn't have to be what you enjoy.

"I shouldn't have to prove anything to you." Why compare, honestly? You are so different from the friend beside you. There is no point comparing, there is no point being bummed out because you're not going for Summer Jam, because everyone's going overseas and you're not, because someone is doing something/being somewhere/being someone you're not. Because you're all different, and that's beautiful. It's so easy for me to look at someone else, victimise myself and whine about how much "less" of a life I have. It's totally not true. We all have lives, and we all have different ways to live them. It's pointless to feel bummed, even though these feelings are sometimes inevitable.

Staying away from social media newsfeeds sometimes does a lot of good.

I don't know why, but even for someone with as much need to be connected with people as myself, I find great relief in disconnecting and not knowing what the rest of my world is up to once in awhile. Browsing newsfeeds is a toxic thing to do in your leisure, because as you're relaxing and trying to take your mind off work/the world for awhile, the last thing you want to do is to check out who is where on holiday, who won what competition and achieved what award, who got married or had what baby...You don't want all these things that can innately create pressure in you humming at the back of your mind while you're trying to take a break. Things like these affect me (though I don't think they affect everyone), so I need to avoid doing this when I want a break.

***

Just needed to get that out of my system because it's been a stressful and demotivating period. I need a little bit of this once in awhile to get my engines all revved up like brand new again.

No comments: