I just want to stay like this forever.

I hate goodbyes, I really do.

These past few weeks have been one heck-of-an emotional rollercoaster of sorts, and it's been a daily struggle to come to terms with the reality of "moving on", the reality that things are coming to an end--and fast. The reality that I will soon be saying goodbye to everything familiar, everything that I have held so dear, and everything that was once so accessible to me... All this will soon be gone and I don't know if life will ever be the same or just as good.

Kris told me that this is part of moving on to a new chapter in my life, which I believe is a blessing. God has planned so many things for me, I shouldn't keep wanting to dwell in the past and live in something that's fading away so quickly. But this particular chapter has been so good I don't really want it to end. Many chapters in my life I was ok with/happy to move on from, but this one has been...special.

I've met amazing people, like really amazing people to be with, people who have shown me that true, genuine friendships exist in this world, and that loyalties, love, bravery, sacrifices are real. I've met  lot of people who have grown to become super important to me, even though we started as strangers. And I met some of these important people through dance. But after we all graduate and are forced to move on to the workplace and a new chapter in our lives, they might be giving it up entirely. This is....especially saddening to me, because I feel it's like the reason we met and became so close is going to be gone from their lives soon...

I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with these people before we all have to face the inevitable reality of goodbye, so maybe I may come off as a little desperate and clingy... But thinking about how "this is probably going to be the last time that i..." drives me to keep cherishing them, and cherishing what little time we have together.

I really don't want to move back home.

And for now, I'm content with not moving on.

I'll just...remain stuck here for awhile.