life of a dance-addict.

i really feel like i'm living dance now.

and i'm not sure if it's a good thing...? i'm so happy and thankful, but is this the way my life's supposed to flow? hahaa. part-time student, full-time dancer...? xD

that aside, i'm really so thankful and i really feel so blessed to be in FlickerHolic together with all these dope dancers... it's such an honour to be working with them. and they're people i can really relate to and talk so comfortably with... it's like, i'm really starting to find my family here... :)

oh. this is random, or maybe it's not so random. but sometimes i wish i could get my mum off my back. :/

she doesn't like my new hair colour. haha. SURPRISE SURPRISE. she freaked even more when i said that my initial plan was for it to be light green. she then proceeded to scold me and warn me not to blindly follow fashion trends because other people think it's cool.

...can't she just consider the possibility that i MYSELF find it cool? do my opinions always have to be influenced by others? why does she think that i don't have an opinion of my own? why does she think i don't have any individuality and only follow trends?

just shows how well she knows me. *scoffs*

she also finds it ridiculous that i have pracs on Saturday night. thank God she doesn't know about all my other 1001 pracs. sometimes i feel bad for keeping so many things from her, but my rational side always convinces me that this is the best way for her. because her health and well-being is the most important, and i don't want to end up bursting a blood vessel of hers.

i think my mum wishes for a normal, (boring) girly feminine daughter. who doesn't have the confidence or determination to pursue dance and art. oops. sorry to disappoint you, mum.

i wonder when the time will come when i can achieve full independence. as in, do whatever i want, without having to worry about her scolding me, or stopping me.

--i had to leave a prac early tonight in order to appease her. this might cost me more than i am prepared to lose, but i pray that it won't be as serious or as bad as i fear it might be.

i will blog again on this matter if the cost of my action of leaving early to appease my mum is indeed what i feared it was, and what i fear i am still unprepared for. i will never forgive myself for it, if it happens...

i love dance, i love my crew, i love my friends who have been supporting and encouraging me all the way.

i love art, i love expression, i love creativity, i love being busy, i love rehearsing, learning choreography and practising with my crew.

but most of all, i love the one and only Lord God for making all these things possible for me. :)

there are many promises i have made to You, but have yet to fulfill them... please give me the strength and courage to do so...