we fight the blues.

it's a different kind of fatigue in entirety.

it's not the kind that you can cure through sleeping, (though sleeping does aid immensely in the recovery process) nor is it the kind of fatigue you can overcome by exercising more and keeping yourself healthy.

and i wouldn't exactly call it mental fatigue either, because i guess that has negative connotations as well?

no, this kind of fatigue isn't exactly a bad thing. it's one of those things that just happens, and isn't a bad thing to be corrected, neither is it a good thing to be cherished.

oh, but maybe it is to be cherished. because it is part of what makes us human.

it's the kind of fatigue that you get when something that you've looked forward to and invested so much of yourself in is finally here, and then in the high of the moment, it's suddenly over.

funny how we spend months preparing for something which lasts only a fraction of the amount of time we put into it, and yet we still do it over and over again, because we just enjoy the process so much.

yes, it was the journey there that makes me want to do what i love with the people i love over and over again.

even if it means another post-______ blues, or withdrawal symptoms, or empty blankness, i'd do it over again. for the memories, for the journey, for the love.

so this is an old fatigue, an old feeling, an old emotion. it seems strange to classify it as an emotion, because i think it qualifies as more than just that. but let's just leave it at that classification now.

i hope that people around won't judge me for my random tearing or blankness, because everything i see that reminds me of the past few months of hard work (dance-wise, choreography-wise, production-wise, comm-wise) just brings out that emotion that i keep behind loosely secured doors again.

and i don't want to lock those emotions in, because letting them out lets me relive the memories and journey once again, reminding me that even though It's over, they still live on indefinitely.