today i went for the Universal Studios auditions. 

let me first say this, that i did NOT intend to audition, for fear of my mother. i just don't think it's the time to start another war with her over something like this, because i have A LOT of things at stake. and if i offend her and she says no to some things that matter a lot more than this, i am going to feel so awful and terrible, that i will not even be able to complain about it. 

but because Lex, Sali, Terrance and Colin really cared a lot about me, and didn't want me missing out on this really rare opportunity to boost my portfolio in dance, they kinda peer-pressured me into auditioning. lol. i was very troubled at first, even though i knew that they did it only because they cared and they don't want me wasting this opportunity.

...i'm still feeling troubled now. even though the auditions went rather well.

it's just... i do want to fight for my dreams and everything, but what Terrance said to me really pissed me off and made me want to shout back. but i kept my cool. i mean, the dude's one of my closest friends, and i know he only said this because he really wanted me to try and he really cared. but MAN.

he said that i clearly stated that i'm not afraid to fight for what i want to do for a living anymore, but that i'm not showing it. but what i want to do is promote HIPHOP in Singapore! not dance for some promo gig for Universal Studios! i mean, sure, it'll help. but let me take this one step at a time! and don't say such stuff to hurt me... the way he said it to me made it sound as if he was saying that i don't keep true to my word, or that i have poor resolution... i just felt so upset and depressed after that.

i really miss Lex Daniel Sali Wil Tacky Bro Betty Nic Yoga and Anaz.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh D8