thoughts.

my mother said some rather unkind, disturbing and guilt-arousing things to me last night.

sigh.

sometimes i wonder what it'd be like if i was a daughter whose lifelong ambition was to be a businesswoman, doctor, or lawyer. or if my talents and strengths lay in some linguistic, intellectual, scientific or research field. 

would my parents love me more? 

would i bring more happiness to them?

would our lives be more satisfying and fulfilling?

...honestly, i don't know. now, it may seem that way because of the way my parents are reacting to my hobbies and ambitions.

but that may not be.

i believe that God gave me these humble gifts and passions of mine for a reason. 

but i don't know if the path i want to follow is the path He wants me to follow.

hmmm.

:/

i actually don't need my parents to support me. 

i just wished and prayed that they wouldn't go against me, as they are now. 

boohoo. x(

my mum hates me doing hiphop. she wants me to give it up because she thinks i'm getting obsessed. @_@

and she doesn't like me drawing either.

it's so hard to give up the things you love so much for someone you're supposed to love too...

...i don't really know what to do.

for now, i'll continue to pursue what i love.

but this won't make me love you any less, mum.

i'll still love you

no matter

what

happens.

... :)

on a side note,

i've only got 4 designs more to ink. x)