the end of shake.

i woke up with a great, painful realization that it's over.

it's amazing the extent to which we can experience both feelings of deep hurt and emptiness as well as great contentment and satisfaction at the same time. but i'm sure that's how a lot of us are feeling now.

i felt kinda crappy the whole day. yet proud of every single dancer on stage these previous 2 nights.
i felt like crying when it was over. yet i also felt like shedding tears of joy at the amazing performance we put up.

the last time we hid behind the curtains to do innergize, bong and i were smudging our makeup with tears. it's strange that we felt so overwhelmed already, even before dancenight started. i put in so much energy into the dance, i was simply exhausted when i got back to the RUA. it felt... satisfying. :)

before one missed call, EVERYONE was hugging each other. we're the people who are part of the freshest item in dancenight and we're so proud of this item that we were so excited to go on. when i saw the audience staring at meiying and getting spooked by her and her finally falling eerily, perfectly in time with the scream ahgong mixed, i just felt so proud of the item that i thought i was gonna burst with pride as i ran out.

as for potluck, well... :) :) :) :) i had nothing but smiles for the item! it was simply amazing to hear the crowd cheering for ahmah's, terrance's & hanzhi's solo, the puppet thing, sijin's emo solo, the imba sexy love guys part, the grand entrance of the 369 bboys, and of course, the huge applause during aahhh-woooo! and throughout the whole of church. x) i just felt so proud of everyone. immediately after the lights blacked out, i felt terrance giving me a hug and shouting, "WE DID IT. THAT WAS IT." and i couldn't agree more with that.

thank you, dancers, for making my school life so much more fun and meaningful than it would be without dance. i love you all so much, that i'll never be able to express all this love in words. thank you for all the fun, the laughter, the love, the joy, the tears, the talks, the stupid crap we did together, everything.
thank you for everything that you've given me. :) thank you for all the wonderful things you've taught me. about dance, about life, sacrifice, commitment, perserverance, trust, recovering from setbacks, picking myself up from failure, respect, consideration and loving the people i work with.

thank you for the flowers, the chocs, the bandana, and of course the sweet notes that touched me to tears and made me cry like crap. everything you guys said in those slips of paper reflected exactly how i felt and reading them made me praise and thank God again and again for friends like you. x)

i remember every single note i received, cuz i read it on the spot. and now i know there are 2 notes missing. :((( i really hope they're still at the RUA. i will meng look for it when i get the chance. x( *prays*

also, thank you, my wonderful classmates, veron, wenyan, suat, nandhu, yueling, jolyn, adrian, for helping out at dancenight SHAKE! 08! seeing familiar faces backstage and downstage and in the RUA helped calm my nerves a lot and i'm so thankful to all you guys. :) thank you for the numerous gifts as well! ahh you all are crazy, i can't believe you gave me one gift every day, including the full run. :x but thanks anyway!! x) really love you all.

and thanks to the rest of 75 who came to support!! i hope you all enjoyed the show. thanks for your continual support, cheering me on whenever i felt like dying in class, explaining to teachers for me when i couldn't answer questions properly or when i didn't finish my homework... thank you. :) i'm so grateful for all your support.

thanks SC dears for coming to watch us! ahhh it's so nice to see you all again. and vic, thank you for watching us twice:) i'm so glad you got better seats last night than the crappy seats you guys got right at the back yesterday. thank you all my dear friends. i miss you so much. and thank you for all the encouragements. x)

thank you daddy and bro for coming to watch me. :) i'm glad you found my items interesting enough not to fall alseep during them. :) even tho daddy can't remember much from potluck which saddened me a little, i'm still glad you came. x) love you..

thanks mum, for asking for a ticket anyway. i know you had a lot of housework to do. i was really sad to find out that you didn't go, because i wanted so badly to show you what i could do now, how much i've improved since you last saw me, how badly i want to dance. i wanted to show you my passion, what it was that drove me to stay all those last nights in school, to put in those hours of effort for this performance. i wanted to show you my love for dance, and i missed my chance. that's what made me sad.

to everyone else who gave me flowers, chocolates, hugs, encouragements, praises, compliments, or came to support me in one way or another, THANK YOU.
i wish this didn't have to be over, but it is, and it's something we have to accept anyway.

ky told me that the end of dancenight is the beginning of a new chapter. simple, yet true. it's up to our juniors to push dancenight to a new level. and like huiyan praised us, we have so much potential, creativity going on. we have so many male dancers and bgirls. this is only the beginning. there is so much more left to come.

so, even though i'm never gonna be able to do aahhhh-wooo! ever again, i won't be sad, because i know there are better things to come. :)

thank you all MADders for making this possible. and thank you chinese dance, for working with us kukus. x)

MADders, i'll never forget you. don't forget me either. x)