i am a nerd.
i memorize what level pokemon evolve,
what elements they're weak against,
what attacks they can learn at what level.

i play console games,
i play computer games,
i use cheat codes
and walkthroughs
just to complete special levels
and unlock special characters.

i watch shounen anime,
and read shounen manga.
(but i do read some shoujo too)
i remember plotlines and character profiles in great detail
and draw parallels and references to reality ALL THE TIME.
i also have a Face of Anime.

i like action movies,
i love superhero superpower shows,
i like transformers,
for reasons other than Megan Fox.

i eat like a boy,
eat as much as one,
and help people finish their food.

i squat on escalators
take naps sprawled on the floor
laugh with my mouth wide open and head thrown back
scream like people squawk


but i like bright colours
i fangirl over cute dancers and singers
i find soft toys and animals AMAZINGLY CUTE
i like happy endings in romance
i love rainbows
i love sweets and cakes and chocolates
i squeal over my favourite things
i flinch when people swear
i cross the road at green lights
i love hugs
i hate alcohol
i worry about taking risks and others getting hurt
i hesitate when saying something i think would hurt others.


sometimes i'm proud of all this.
but sometimes i wish i wasn't like this at all.

because guys always see me as another "bro".
and never as another "girl".
they say they're thankful for me, their "fellow guy",
and they never realise
the possibility
that i could
ever
like
them.



i am a poketard.
i am a nerd.
i play computer games.
i eat like a boy.
i don't like wearing girly clothes.
i like action movies for the action.
i watch shounen anime,
and read shounen manga.


but i am still very very much
a girl.