RAG ended with such a blast for our beloved Eusoff hall!
Best Float Design
Best Presentation
OSA Creativity Award
3 shields ohmygosh i'm so happy for our RAG!
after the late night practices, whole day rehearsals, tedious detailing of costumes, late minute gauze-sewing with wilfred just so that we can do this ONE stunt, finally every ounce of blood, sweat, tears, sprained toes & ankles all paid off. i am really really so happy... and tired. (seriously, 8pm to 3am pracs are more killer-tiring than they sound)
of course, everything comes at a price. because of our intensive RAG pracs (and my poor stamina and inability to maintain my high energy level for more than 48 hours at a time), i ended up missing most of Oweek. i think my OGL kind of hates me now. :/ what a bad first impression, huh. i guess RAG tired me out so much with pracs reaching to the 3-4am hours of the morning, so much so that i couldn't bring myself to wake up at 8plus to go for oweek at 9. sigh. i feel kinda bad since i promised both min and sali that i would go with them. :( so much for trying to be a good friend who keeps her promises.
i also possibly felt a little more like an alien at Oweek. 50% of my OG consisted of counsillors, mostly FRESHIE counsillors, who (since they already knew each other from Arts Camp) were more in a world of their own. there was also already an existing clique in my OG as 6-7 of the girls were from the same JC. so no one in particular is to blame. i guess my OG was kinda a little segregated from the start due the odd combination of people. individually, i think they're really nice people. nice to talk to, but pity i didn't stay long enough to get to know them properly. i feel somewhat irresponsible. like i abandoned them or something. (not like they'd notice my absence, especially since i only came for half a day, before rushing off to RAG prac)
but looking at things from another perspective, there's no way i could've abandoned RAG either. i volunteered and auditioned for RAG and really wanted to be part of that hall experience. i can't possibly let down my other dancers just because i wanted to have fun at Oweek. it's another issue of responsibility towards my hall friends too...
...and i guess in the end, missing Oweek was somewhat worth it. :) *satisfied smile*
ANYWAY i guess i'll simply blame all this mess on me not being a very orientation person. :/
so yes. most of my friends are HC ppl, SC ppl, and Eusoff ppl. thankfully a lot of Eusoff people are in Arts too. i'm trying to make myself feel better about Oweek by telling myself that it's not possible for Oweek to enable me to get to know even half of Arts. since we are such a huge faculty.
i like my faculty a lot though. i think we're very crazy. :) i feel very quiet next to them.
i somehow feel more at home in the hall, though sometimes i do end up emo-ing and thinking too much. this last week before RAG was especially emotionally trying for me. i ended up missing victoria's performance because of our last minute costume detailing to do, and last minute full dress rehearsals, and though i can't bring myself to say it was worth it (because vic's performance really meant a lot to me), i really hope vic will be able to forgive me...
i was thinking a lot. about how i needed time to fit into hall life, to get used to hall culture, and it kinda depressed me that i was missing so much (Oweek esp) thanks to RAG, and it frustrated me that i was the only freshie fish dancer. (the other freshies were either actors or water people dancers) i was the only junior amongst the seniors and that made me feel so small and alien and out of place sometimes.
on thursday, i just broke down. in front of bert, jingfang, prema, sai, darylyn, jiakai and some other people. SO PAISEH I TELL YOU.
but i really thank God that they were there for me. i really felt so much better after pouring everything out. after talking about how i felt about everything.
i find that sometimes i keep things to myself a bit too much. i try to tell myself that they aren't important and aren't worth burdening someone's ears with, so i don't tell anyone and let them accumulate till they overwhelm me. (way to go, nic) i guess i just missed being around my best friends a lot. i wasn't used to hanging around people who don't know me as well as the usual gang, and that made me feel lonely.
thankfully, that day, bert and i sat in E block laundry room and talked for a long time. we talked about our fac, our lives at home, our families, and i realised how much in common i had with her. it's strange because i never really got the chance to get to know her properly when we were still in HC. man, i am so thankful that bert and i are together in the same hall.
i guess i just need time to get to know more people, to let more people get to know me, and to get used to life here. i'm sure it'll all happen naturally, and i don't have to worry too much about it. :) just gotta trust God and move on.
on a side note, i am getting a little jittery about Blast! auditions. i really really want in, but i'm just afraid i can't make it past the auditions. oh well. just gotta ZHAM. sali, eeshah, jiayi and weiting are probably going with me, so thankfully i have people i know going with me so i won't be alone! :D
to be honest, i'm pretty surprised that Sali is so serious about Blast!. not that i'm unhappy or anything, don't get me wrong (i'm actually quite happy). i'm just surprised. because Blast! is really serious about commitment. and their practices can get really intense and stuff. i'm glad Sali is really interested, because she really bothers to learn about Hip Hop culture, and really knows quite a lot more than some Hip Hoppers out there, but i'm just wondering if she might find it difficult to balance too many ccas&studies, resulting in her dropping out, just like how she dropped out of MAD after passing the auditions. :/
in any case, i'm glad she's auditioning with me and that i won't be alone. :) i'll just let her sort out the rest, since she seems to be so serious about it.
also, i can't wait for Eusoff Dance Production auditions. i want to audition to be a choreographer! i think it's going to be so awesome. really really excited about starting school and starting on hall activities (besides RAG)!!!
all in all, a fruitful, exhausting week. i'm all geared up for the next :D
No comments:
Post a Comment